Oh My Gosh Man | Sarah Goshman

Right now, I’m at the epic end of burnout.

After spending half of last year living outside of time, I moved back into my apartment in January and took on an event planning gig at my former place of employment.

I’m not sure what made me think this was a good idea.

Okay, yeah, it paid the bills for the last few months, and the next few as well, but I’m not entirely sure it was worth the strain I’ve put myself under.

When you spend weeks upon weeks running on adrenaline, the crash can be excruciatingly painful. When I used to work in theatre, I would inevitably get sick once tech week was over and the show was open.

This time, I didn’t get sick thankfully, but I am noticing that my HSP-ness is coming out in full force.

I’m sensitive about everything. The littlest problem feels insurmountable and overwhelming. I cry at the drop of a hat. And sitting at my computer for more than a few minutes at a time is enough to make me want to climb into bed and curl up for hours. Even social interactions, which I usually crave, are a challenge right now. And though I didn’t get sick, I’m sleeping 10-12 hours every night.

I’ve never crashed this hard before.

And I’m finding that the most important thing I need right now, is anything that reconnects me with myself and with my body.

A float session over the weekend, slow yoga, laying on the floor and breathing, sleeping as much as possible, and dance.

Weirdly, even though dance often involves going out into social environments containing loud noise and lots of people, two things which usually are not my faves, it’s actually the thing I’m craving the most right now. It’s the only thing I seem to have energy for.

So I’m breathing into this. I’m sitting with all the discomfort: the exhaustion, the depression, the sensitivity, the awkwardness, the lonliness, and the frustration of not being able to really do much of anything.

And I’m finding that it’s okay. I’m exhausted and burnt-out and not doing more than what I absolutely have to do. And it’s okay. There will be time to do all the things when I’m back to myself again. And right now, my most important job is to find my way back there.

Next week I’m going on a week-long, technology-free retreat. There will be a lake and nature and that sort of thing. There will be some fabulous people. And there will be no way for me to check my email or be forced in any way to interact with the outside world.

And hopefully I will have good news to report on my return.

In the meantime, what are some of the things you do to reconnect with yourself when you’re burnt out? Let me know in the comments.

With love,

Sarah